Friendship.

Friendship is a funny thing. Quite fickle, sometimes frail, but mainly just funny. My best friend and I have been "best friends" since school, when we came as a pair. There was no one or the other, merely both. It was quite a feat when you got one of us on our own. Great times. But, things change. By the time summer was over, we had meandered into a time where we hardly spoke, let alone actually met up. Now, you're probably thinking that we'd gone off to University and that it was totally understandable. What hurts the guilty part of my mind most is the fact that neither of us actually left our city. We didn't even move out. She went to college, I went to Uni. In the same city. We were minutes from each other, all day, every day. We never saw each other, never spoke, bar a quick text fired mainly to apologise or to pull out of a planned rendezvous.

I am notoriously bad at keeping in touch with people. It will normally result in silence for weeks or months, years depending on how distant we were in the first place. Then, out of the blue, something will spur me to text, email or write and find out just what's been happening in their life. This new-found relationship will last for a short while before heading right back into its pitiful previous state of affairs.

At school, our group was large. I'm talking twenty-plus people at one time. Once you narrow that down to the people that you actually gel with properly and have a relationship with, you're down to maybe ten or so. Then watch as six or seven of the ten head off to different cities for University, and you're left in a big city with barely any friends. I live ten minutes from my best friend - five if I drive - yet we never see each other. Same excuses, different time. I work, she works, she's hanging out with friends, I'm seeing my boyfriend, she's hanging out with hers.

It's a hard thing to admit that I can't even communicate with my "best friend" who lives five minutes away by car. I could blow smoke signals out of my bedroom window and she'd probably see, she's that close. It's so easy to let a friendship crumble, even one that was built with such good foundations. Resolution: fix friendship; learn smoke signals.